Valentine’s Day is the celebration of love and affection! We often celebrate with a loved one or sometimes it’s with an acquaintance if we are both single. It has become customary to give the gift of flowers, candy, greeting cards and jewelry.

I was having a conversation with an acquaintance that is married. The subject turned to breathing life back into his marriage. My friend explained that his wife worked long hours and that his schedule was a bit more flexible and that he often had dinner ready when she got home. “But” he said “there just isn’t the passion there anymore.” I pointed out some simple things that he might do to revive a relationship that is in the doldrums. Most of the things I pointed out were simple things like picking up a bouquet of flowers or a plant on the way home form work. He could schedule a date night, a couples massage, or something even simpler like a card saying I love you and I appreciate you.

As Valentine’s Day approaches I started to think about this conversation in a different light. We (men and women) often wait for a special occasion to celebrate our love and appreciation for each other. Why not show your love and affection regularly? Why do you need to wait for a special occasion? There are so many things that we can do for one another and they don’t need to be expensive, over-the-top gestures. How about starting out with a simple “I love you.” Say this at least once a day to your significant other. (You can say it to children, parents and close friends too!) Just watch their faces light up when you do. It’s even better if you can say it multiple times per day. Personally, I never end a conversation without saying “I love you” to my dad, my daughter and my best friend. While they all know I love them, they need to hear it regularly.

Why not celebrate your love and affection on a regular basis? How much deeper could your connection to your significant other be if you each demonstrated your love regularly? All to often we assume our husband, wife or lover knows how much we care. The reality is, we need to say it, show it and reinforce it on a regular basis. Have a regular date night, Bring flowers or a plant home once in a while. (Ladies, a lot of guys appreciate this too.) Surprise each other with a greeting card now and then. Maybe it’s learning to cook a a special meal or even take a couples cooking class together. Take a walk and enjoy nature together. Spend some quiet time sharing thoughts and feelings with each other. Learn to give each other a neck and shoulder massage or foot massage. If you get good at this it could lead to seductive full body massages and… Well, you get the picture!

Why wait for a special occasion to show your love and affection? What can you do today and on a regular basis going forward to strengthen and deepen your relationship?

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About Rick

Over the past 30 years, Rick Soetebier has been a student of self and relationship improvement. He is an astute observer of people and relationship issues. Over time and through a relationship and marriage that ended after 25 years, Rick started to develop some of the fundamental principles that are found in his book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate.  You can benefit from his observations, education, research and personal experience by letting him help you make better relationship decisions. Date consciously and settle for nothing less than extraordinary in your next relationship.